Children and our society

Hi Friends this is Praneash. Today i wanna write about most important thing which is been bugging me for quite sometime. As i was talking to someone they were mentioning about their kid not being studying properly like not scoring marks in the exam, that i have to reduce his/her playtime. And i couldn't understand how would this help? by not letting them play or watch tv, how would it help them learn something? It's just a way of forcing or blackmailing them to do something. Why would we want to blackmail our own children.
When i ask them this question the obvious answer is then how would make them learn. I said by forcing them you people are not making them learning anything they just mug it up for your sake its not at all useful for them in anyways. They lose their interest in the studies when you force them to study and score more marks.
The main concern of the parents in our Country is their children wants to score more marks.!! Everything is about marks, even from kinder garden to the Engineering or medicine everything for them is about their children is to score higher marks. When you ask a kid of 1st standard what's your ambition in your life, he/she excitedly says Engineer, Doctor, Astronaut, Scientist..etc but when you ask the same kid at high school it just goes down to either an Engineer or Doctor or may be any Government jobs. Why does that same kind of excitement which the kid had at the beginning of the school does not have it at the end of school education. The obvious answer to this question is the mental pressure that the parents, teachers and the society puts on them about scoring marks and make them study something which literally they don't even like to learn. The parents and the education system does not create an interest in learning they just make them to hate the school and learning. Learning is something beautiful, the whole point of education is not to score marks or get admission in an IIT, IIM or any elite institution and get a job offer worth a lakh salary per month. Its making the mind to think, that's what education is all about, homosapiens are called as the intelligent species, how are we intelligent if we do not learn to think of our own? In our country parents and the society decides what their kid has to do in his/her life from education to marriage, this literally the worst thing.
The mental pressure on the kids put by their parents and the society makes them vulnerable many bad decisions, a study shows india is one among the top countries where the suicide rate of people between the age 15 to 29 are high. This a shocking news and something to remembered because the death of these kids are all of because of the pressure given to them by the society. Not alone that as many as suicide rate is high, the number of students who suffer from severe trauma and anxiety is increasing day by day. As i mentioned earlier parents use to cut the cable tv connection. internet connection, forbidden from playing with friends and many other things are forbidden if their kid doesn't score marks in the exam. They're isolated from everything this leads to lot of pressure especially 10th and 12th students, not they have to attend school, they also have to attend tuition for three different kind of subjects[1]. 
Every one hour a student commits suicide says an article in the economic times, our kids these days has lot of problems like bully in school, sexual abuse is another important and sensitive topic which is going on these days, competition in almost everything like having same toys, pens and like problems with other kids and so on. Most parents does not know these problems that their kids have and even if they did they just don't take it serious because its lot common they say, but according  psychologist these are also causes for the mental problems[2].
Not everyone needs to know everything, creating interest in the process of learning and allowing the kids to pursue their dream in anything not only in academics, but also in sports, arts, history, culture..etc. Everyone has their own interest the work of the parents and the teachers is to provide the platform for them to go in their interested way. But that's not happening here a child can't even decide what's he like that is how education system is and even worse the support from parents is also not there so how could they pursue what they love. Career in the Engineering and medicine is only allowed and few exceptions in commerce and business, but the career on the dance, music and other arts stuff is still out of question for many students in this country.
Most parents whom  talked has said that these are all for your own good, getting good marks gets you a seat in reputed college and that degree in that particular college will get you a job with higher salary that way you'll lead a successful life. Here once again the term "success" is redefined that if you have a job with high salary, a car, a house and a family of your own you are considered to be successful. It's not that the term success is different for each and every individual, some its career, some its money, some its happiness, there is no particular definition for being successful. Society measures the success by the amount of money we have, there is be stress free individuals only if the we start measuring our success with the amount of happy and peaceful life we have.
Forcing your children into something they doesn't like also makes them unemployable in future. Studies show that the rate of engineers in our country are increasing in tremendous amount but the rate of engineers that have the basic skill set to make them employable in the companies is very few. Why does this happen? Students study in elite institutions also face similar kind of problems. It's not the lack of proper education its the lack of interest in the subject, most students here in the engineering degree are not by the interest but on the pressure put on them by their parents and the society, so they study for the sake of their parents not understanding the core concepts and finish the degree with the decent percentage and get a job at IT companies or most not even get placed because of the lack of basic skill set.
They best way to prevent all this is to understand your children, become their friend, make them trust you that way if they like something or have any problem the first person they turn to is must be you. Don't be harsh on them even if they do something make them understand by talking to them. My advice is every parent must visit a child specialist in psychiatry to ask for their advice in parenting in best possible way, another thing in our country is even visiting psychologist is a taboo. Don't consider it that way, seeking the help of a professional is very important for both the parents and the children.
Thank you for your time reading this, comments are welcome, i have addend some of the articles please go through that also. Lets start this initiative and does not make our children to the mental pressure and help them grow in their own way.
Thank you.
[1]http://www.studyin-uk.in/study-guide/why-indian-students-are-more-stressed-ever
[2]https://economictimes.indiatimes.com/magazines/panache/between-the-lines/a-student-commits-suicide-in-india-every-hour-how-can-our-educational-system-prevent-this/articleshow/63411123.cms [3]https://thecsrjournal.in/reading-the-mental-stress-of-indian-children
[4]https://www.mapsofindia.com/my-india/education/parental-pressure-and-stress-on-children
[5]https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/city/kolkata/parental-pressure-fear-turning-kids-suicidal/articleshow/63755851.cms

FEMINISM IN OUR MODERN SOCIETY

Hello friends this Praneash.V, happy to start writing again on a important topic FEMINISM. You may think why being a male I want to write about feminism/women’s rights, that’s because the way we treat and see women in our society is completely frustrating, here I wanna express some of my thoughts about this topic.

HISTORY:

          Before going into modern day feminism I’ll just tell you something about how women were treated during 1000 or 2000 years back. Those days they were treated with equal rights and freedom, they have had throne and ruled a country, married the person they loved, had their own profession for example sita of Ramayana she was a strongest women character I have ever read in any books, she was mastered in fights, a good wife and a very good leader, the portray of such character by valmeki is the reflection of how women were in those days. Think today how many sita or sati are there in our society now a days? There are many strong women’s are lived throughout the history amelia earhart the first women to fly over the Atlantic, Rani Lakshmi bhai, the great indian freedom fighter, women scientists and more and more women are exquisite in all the fields. Who said women are weaker than man it’s all a myth created by some fools to create a male dominant society.

What is feminism?

          The basic definition taken form the dictionary is the advocacy of women's rights on the ground of the equality of the sexes. It simply means the equality of rights for both men and women. Today there are more women who are fighting for their feminist rights many are getting education and start’s to question any inequality caused to them, it’s a very good thing. But still feminism here is not seen as it is, here modern girls take few rights and leave the others and still follow the male chauvinistic traditions. For example women want the education they desire but they are not ready to work, they want to be independent but still agrees to the marry someone whom they don’t know.

            Indian feminism and feminist issues as they stand, most often, are not fully inclusive of all women or experiences, they are just a part of problems. As I read in one article the author quotes “The more education I received, the more aware I became, the conversation on feminism changed. The problems of underprivileged women became nothing more than just facts and figures on a paper. The feminist discourse became more nuanced and we moved on to talking about issues such as socialization, subtle messages of discrimination, rape culture, glass ceilings etc. So the focus of my feminism was who were stuck in traditionalist roles while having modern mindsets.” This was my concern too, Even if our parents or families ask us to go against your wish and you do you shouldn’t call yourself a feminist. Intentional or not, complicity in the face of oppressive systems is choosing the side of the oppressor. That is wholly un-feminist. This is happening everywhere. Every women I have seen through my life has her own way of structuring her life, has a lucid dream of how her life should be, her life partner should be, how her career should be and finally when I say then go for it they would say no my parents won’t allow or it won’t make my parents happy and after 2 or 3 years they would have probably married to someone would have children  and will be an housewife, where did that dream of her being gone, this is not her dream? I don’t blame parents or the society here I blame the girls for not fighting their battle for themselves and finally would call them a feminist.

"Indian feminism has tended to represent the interests and concerns of upper-caste women rather than reflect the experiences of Indian women en masse. By recognising this fact, Indian feminism can more effectively challenge historically entrenched and varied [systems of oppression]." By Social Activist Kiese Laymon. This is true, how many are cared about what is happening to our women’s in the rural areas? The worst thing is there is no one to give voice for them, even-though some of them are educated, they still not ready or bold enough to voice for their own rights. Girls there are getting married at 18 years to a 30-35 years old man through this arranged marriage even they wish or not, and parents or families are not ready to ask that girl for her wish, they think their duty is over with it. A dream of 18 year old girl is killed it’s a worst crime same as the murder according to me.

We should never allow these things to happen, we are educated and we should voice against these things that are happening in our country, these are crimes according to me that is happening in our country in the name of tradition, there is no such thing in our entire tradition that every girl should marry a elder man than her or girls are only to cook, look after her family nothing like that these are created during the middle ages by some people to make the male chauvinistic society and make women’s as slaves. I didn’t talk here about crimes committed against women’s because that’s making headlines and its very bad thing also but these are the things which happening legally in the name of traditions and most women calling them feminist are supportive in this and that should be stopped.

Feminism is all about equality and everyone should be treated the same, there is no difference should be seen in the name of male, female, caste, race, religion, language… my kind request to all the super women out there is come out of these old tradition that holds your wings break them and start flying, life is all about living happily, make yourselves happy and automatically you’ll make everyone happy around you

Thank you for reading….

Dream and ambition

Hi this is praneash, I thought of sharing something which I thought very important to all of us.

Dream or ambitions in life, almost every one of us have a dream or ambition or goal in our life, because that’s what we would really want to become. That dream is very important that one should see it to be achieved finally.

When do our dreams get start? When I see a kid and ask him/her what is your ambition in your life, most probable answer would be like, doctor, astronaut, a scientist, IAS officer, police etc.. It’s really nice to hear that these kind of dreams are there in the minds of kids, but when we ask the same kid what’s your dream after his higher secondary education his dream would have reduced to become an engineer or doctor not more than that, only in rare cases we could hear these dream of becoming which I mentioned above. After getting results it would even get reduced to get an admission in any college to get a degree. Then after getting into any degree like engineering or arts which most of us probably doesn’t know why they chose that course, in most of the cases it would be selected by his/her parents or relatives or any other but not him/her, there itself his/her childhood dream becomes just dream itself. And finally their dream becomes just to get a job in the placement, marry and look after their family and settle in life.

So where does this dream of them becoming a pilot or doctor or scientist or sports man goes?? First blame is the parents and society, next is the education system and third is the person himself.

Why to blame the parents and society? The main reason I want to blame parents is that almost 90% of the parents doesn’t know what their child wants to become in future. They just randomly chose a field for their son/daughter because their relative or friend or mentor would have suggested or succeeded in that field and were earning good amount. They do this for our own good I am not blaming them for that, but what good its gonna make when we do something which we don’t love. About society even when that 10% of the parents chose to allow their son/daughter according to their own wish the society starts criticizing them.

The second thing is the education system. At kinder garden days the ambition of the child and their interest in learning would be more and they would be excited, but as years goes on they starts to hate the schools and education the reason is our system is fully based on marks. Get marks you’ll be treated well in both school and home this is what happening in most of the schools and houses. Their interest in learning is getting lost in that itself and the thought of we have to get more marks in order to achieve one of those dreams will itself destroy their ambition. Creating interest in students will make them to learn more.

The third is ourselves, you could say, these things destroyed our dreams and why should we blame us, the thing is determination towards anything will help you achieve your dreams. Even though you lost your track of your dreams somewhere it’s never late to take them back and start working towards it, I see many people who has a dream about becoming something else but gets settled in what they get and not willing to learn or work towards it. One’s dream should not always to become rich or get fame or something like that it should always be to achieve happiness because at the end of the day money or fame won’t be with you but memories of the happiest moments will always be with you. Earn people not money, help everyone even though you know they can’t help you back, look after your parents, friends and family and spend more time with them. Create a dream of changing something in the society like I said above what killed our dreams should not kill our future generations dreams too, teach them, be an example in the society that people trust you. That dream is something more than money, fame or whatever materialistic thing you think is big.

I would like conclude by my thoughts about what a dream should be its not about make money or marry someone u love or getting a job with lakh salary or earn fame. It is after 60 years or more when you think you’ve finished playing your part in your life and when you turn back and look into your life you should not regret a single decision that you’ve made in your life. That’s what I consider as a primary ambition in life, because life is all about one’s happiness without that whatever you achieve won’t matter. When you regret something which afterwards there won't be happiness later, so try to make your every decisions wisely. Money brings you nothing but a temporary happiness, what we need is to do something what we love even when it’s not worth the millions, billions or trillions, it should be worth your happiness it’s more than those millions or billions.

youngsters problem

Hi this is Praneash.V.
When i see my friends or people in my age or below that is so called teenagers and people of late twenties, i could see most of them having many problems to themselves like marks, love, job etc..
Many people are stressed with these things, and many more have these relationship issues both with boys and girls. I always wonder that why people are more stressed even-though they have all the basic requirements that they need to be happy, but they always wanted more.
Even school students are more stressed with marks and these relationship. And the reason is parents who always impose their sons/daughters to score more marks, and into marriages and even work too.

Education is not about marks its about training the mind to think for the problems themselves, like Einstein said "if you judge a fish's talent by climbing a tree it will think itself as a fool for its whole life". This is what happening in our country, as we grow up we always forget what we learn and why did we learn. Parents and teachers should not impose to their kids about getting marks but to teach them life.

We always think about ourselves highly when we get a good marks and a placement in a company, getting married to someone even-though we would have loved or had crush on someone,  have kids and lead a life. Have we ever thought about our purpose of  living in this world, i am sure its not that i said above. and most of them think that is a normal life. Have you ever asked how would we define normal? everything is depends on how we see things and we define our own normal life but what we do now a days is that we see everyone how they are living and if we could live that way then we consider it as a normal life. We always forget the main thing which is happiness and the satisfaction which is more important, the whole life we always live for someone, our parents lived for us, we live for them and our children and this goes on, when will we live for us then? its not that way one should lead a life, i mean all are important to us but we should never lose ourselves in the process of living for others.

And majority of the youngsters now a days have this problem of relationship and they are stressed out because of this and ruining their lives and health. I am not saying that is wrong but moving on is important and considering our other problems in hand its not even an issue to be stressed. The main problem is we don't think always make our lust to take the decision and not love, and all most people need a partner since they feel lonely and they get to start a relationship and then after few days its not working so we leave, where is the love here? there is no love its just lust which made them come together and once the lust is gone its over! 

Love is something which does not come just by seeing someone it is understanding, knowing each other well and accepting their freedom, what happens here is once a guy and a girl starts to love, the guy starts dominating the girl or vice versa, there starts the problem, she/he don't like something that he/she likes and if they does there comes another gap and like this the gap goes on and on and finally its done. 

There are people who don't even have place to stay, food to eat, no peaceful sleep and so on they are living their life and moving on but some people are still like i hate to live because he/she doesn't love me, always  cherish the people who loves you, if you always show care to the person who doesn't care for you and disrespect the one who cares one day when you see they won't be around.

And another thing is the job, most people hate their job and only reason they still see it because of money and family issues. Some people need a job because they want to be independent, some need because their friends are in higher position, some need because they don't have a job. Now a days people are not thinking about the society and to its betterment always think about themselves and money, money is not the thing we need here, we need happiness and we should work towards it, make time for your friends, wherever you go in your life treat them as same as when you were together. Friends are the family we create for ourselves, never leave them in any circumstances and be always available to them. There is no family as good as friends, love them, spend time with them.

caste in our society

Hi this is praneash.v,

I just wanna share an important thing which remains as a disease in our country for over a long period of time, its the Caste system that we follow, and religion is also the same kind of disease that to be abolished from entire roots of our world. There are lot of castes in our country, i don't wanna mention any name of a specific caste, this caste prevails in almost in every part of our country especially in rural areas, its like lower caste people should not talk with the higher caste people and they should not enter the their house or the temple which is their locality.

Where it all started, So this caste system was there for very long time in our country like from the period of kings, its been divided based on the work that people do like brahmin, kshatriya, vaishya and shudra, these are the four classes during those periods. This caste system is wrong in those periods too because only the higher class people could have education, other people can't have education or enter into temple or can't even talk with the higher class people. This is happening now also, the rich becoming richer and the poor becoming poorer, this is what happening in our country.

Why the caste is a danger to our society?

1. When we separate people into these kind of caste like FC,BC,MBC,SC,ST, etc.. there will be discrimination between peoples mind like he is from lower caste we should not talk with him or let him use our things and so on.
2. Caste kills love: Many people love each other but they are separated because of this caste system, like upper caste people will not give their son or daughter to the lower caste or different caste people's son/daughter. Even if they marry against their parents wish they are murdered by their own parents and call it as honor killing. This is been a very sensitive issue to be taken care of killing their own son/daughter for the caste is very big problem, that people are obsessive with this caste. In previous years this has been done in many areas with the knowledge of even the police department but after some years the police become strict and the supreme court has declared it as a crime even though  it didn't stop, still its taking place secretly without the media knowledge. 
3. In Education: In education there are caste based reservation system, this reservation system is good in some ways because if not for this reservation the lower caste people cannot get the education at all, but it also discredits the hard work of the other people. its been a good thing for lower caste people because it helps them to come in the society but why should we discredit them as lower caste people, neglect every basic rights to them and then offer them some good things? 

You may know there are lot of crimes have been done to the people who have been named as the lower caste by the society, people with powers target those people for their needs because no one will ask if anything happens to them, because they are lower caste why should we care? its not our problem or our caste people, so many big people including politicians, policeman, business man's are all taking advantage of that and causing crimes against those people all because of this damn caste. The tribal people are the people who gets affected by this the most, they can't stand on their own because of the crimes committed against them, there are only few rights to them, when we see why these crimes are happening particularly against them all point to one thing, that is caste. If not for the caste they would too have all the rights that a common citizen has in this state. They are also human beings what wrong did they do in-order to be neglected like this?

Many big leaders like Dr.B.R.Ambedkar, E.V.Ramasamy who gave their voice against the caste and religion in our country, not alone them there are many uncredited heroes are there who are giving their voices against caste in our society. The main problem here is the higher caste people are there in the ruling areas and temples and all the big positions in the society and the lower caste people are still doing day jobs for their survival.

Abolish the caste system, give equal rights to all the people, government should give offers and reservation for the development of the people whose income is below average and help in development of those, other than giving reservation on the caste, if we do that all kind of people's life will get better there will be no such thing will occur as rich always becoming richer and poor becoming poorer. Equal rights will make them come inside the community and make a living. This first should come from us than with the government, stop seeing them as a some alien who entered to our world they too are human being like us, they too have heart and feelings, help them to become one of yours, educate your children that there is no caste or religion and stop teaching them not to talk with roadside workers or any labors treat everyone equally, stop seeing them differently then automatically the caste system will get vanish, and there will be no crimes committed against certain set of peoples considering them as minorities, because there is be no majority and minority all are equal.

This is a distant dream of mine hope it becomes true one day and as youngsters we should start changing the society and start educating them.

Thank you.

Arranged marriage in Our society

Hi everyone, this is Praneash.V and this is my first blog on the topic Society.
Why i chose to write about our society is, that is were we live in and our future generations gonna live. First i wanted to write about the one thing that was concerning me is that the concept of the arranged marriage in our country. I write this on my view so don't get offended.

What is arranged marriage?

1. At first the person who wants to get married, his/her parents go to an Astrologer in their community and give his/her astrological details and check when the marriage is gonna happen.
2. Another funny thing is that there are lot of matrimonial websites available for each state people, caste, community and religion. Login in that, fill your details( astrological and personal), kind of person you want. seriously i couldn't understand how it is gonna work . The funny thing is you'll have choices here.
3. After you are ok with the bride the family meeting takes place that is like boy's parents go to the girls house for seeing the girl and likewise, this is like a function that happens only in India, after that girls family will come to boys house.
4. Then they will discuss the marriage when and where to happen and the most important thing is that the dowry which is given by the girls side to boys side after the marriage (hell of a custom).
5. Then the marriage will happen within 3 months max, this is the time for the brides get to know each other, before that they were  just strangers, hilarious right!!!

So this how the arranged marriage are happening in our country. I mean how could someone possibly marry a person whom you've never seen in your life time, never spend time with, never known what his/her character is? People differ in characters, according to psychology there are three different characters Introvert, Extrovert and Ambivert. People first have to know what these characters are if not, it is very difficult to understand the person.

The main reason for arranged marriage is parents aren't ready to accept love marriage, they want their son/daughter to get married to someone in their family or in their caste or religion or state or whatever but not to someone they love. I just can't understand this one thing, that parents in india live for their children's happiness their whole life but when it comes to marriage it should happen according to their wish. They just don't remember this thing that marriage life is something which is important and how they're gonna live happy or sad based on the life partner they chose. They don't get the right to chose their own life partner then what's the point the whole life they lived so far.

Even youngsters these days support the arranged marriage for the sake of their parents, they are not ready to educate their parents or make them understand, the latest survey that conducted displays that people in arranged marriage are less happy compared to the love marriages, of course the divorce rate is less here because divorce is considered as a taboo, you have to live your whole life with a partner you don't like. And one more thing here is that our society is a male dominant one, tradition like this are created as a male chauvinism that male should be dominant over the female. Has it ever occurred to anyone that why in marriages male are elder than the female and not the other way around, its the very reason of male chauvinism. But these days girls even support this thing and still call them feminist, i believe in equality male and female should be at least of same age and should be equally treated, and of course age is not an issue in marriage main thing understanding of the person. In our system of marriage girls are expected to leave their family entirely and live with the boy's family, how it is considered fair, that i don't understand but irony here is almost every girl accept this.

The whole point of marriage has gone wrong here, we have to know each other like best friends,
what are the strengths and weakness of each other, character flaws and pros, positiveness and negativeness, there should be unconditional love between each other, without knowing all these how could you lead a life together. Married a stranger, lead a whole life with a stranger and as a stranger, this how the marriage system is!! People may ask those who did arranged marriage for centuries they are not leading a happy life? of course they are but not all only few, during those days it is not possible in our society for love marriages because love itself is considered as a taboo and very rare cases love marriages happen and that too ends in with lot of opposition from both the families and the society but now it is not like that, now we have evolved we are leading our life more advanced and we still didn't change this one.

This arranged marriage should be stopped and we should start educating people and it is fully my view no offence to anybody
any corrections, comments are welcome,
thank you.