Hi Friends this is Praneash. Today i wanna write about most important thing which is been bugging me for quite sometime. As i was talking to someone they were mentioning about their kid not being studying properly like not scoring marks in the exam, that i have to reduce his/her playtime. And i couldn't understand how would this help? by not letting them play or watch tv, how would it help them learn something? It's just a way of forcing or blackmailing them to do something. Why would we want to blackmail our own children.
When i ask them this question the obvious answer is then how would make them learn. I said by forcing them you people are not making them learning anything they just mug it up for your sake its not at all useful for them in anyways. They lose their interest in the studies when you force them to study and score more marks.
The main concern of the parents in our Country is their children wants to score more marks.!! Everything is about marks, even from kinder garden to the Engineering or medicine everything for them is about their children is to score higher marks. When you ask a kid of 1st standard what's your ambition in your life, he/she excitedly says Engineer, Doctor, Astronaut, Scientist..etc but when you ask the same kid at high school it just goes down to either an Engineer or Doctor or may be any Government jobs. Why does that same kind of excitement which the kid had at the beginning of the school does not have it at the end of school education. The obvious answer to this question is the mental pressure that the parents, teachers and the society puts on them about scoring marks and make them study something which literally they don't even like to learn. The parents and the education system does not create an interest in learning they just make them to hate the school and learning. Learning is something beautiful, the whole point of education is not to score marks or get admission in an IIT, IIM or any elite institution and get a job offer worth a lakh salary per month. Its making the mind to think, that's what education is all about, homosapiens are called as the intelligent species, how are we intelligent if we do not learn to think of our own? In our country parents and the society decides what their kid has to do in his/her life from education to marriage, this literally the worst thing.
The mental pressure on the kids put by their parents and the society makes them vulnerable many bad decisions, a study shows india is one among the top countries where the suicide rate of people between the age 15 to 29 are high. This a shocking news and something to remembered because the death of these kids are all of because of the pressure given to them by the society. Not alone that as many as suicide rate is high, the number of students who suffer from severe trauma and anxiety is increasing day by day. As i mentioned earlier parents use to cut the cable tv connection. internet connection, forbidden from playing with friends and many other things are forbidden if their kid doesn't score marks in the exam. They're isolated from everything this leads to lot of pressure especially 10th and 12th students, not they have to attend school, they also have to attend tuition for three different kind of subjects[1].
Every one hour a student commits suicide says an article in the economic times, our kids these days has lot of problems like bully in school, sexual abuse is another important and sensitive topic which is going on these days, competition in almost everything like having same toys, pens and like problems with other kids and so on. Most parents does not know these problems that their kids have and even if they did they just don't take it serious because its lot common they say, but according psychologist these are also causes for the mental problems[2].
Not everyone needs to know everything, creating interest in the process of learning and allowing the kids to pursue their dream in anything not only in academics, but also in sports, arts, history, culture..etc. Everyone has their own interest the work of the parents and the teachers is to provide the platform for them to go in their interested way. But that's not happening here a child can't even decide what's he like that is how education system is and even worse the support from parents is also not there so how could they pursue what they love. Career in the Engineering and medicine is only allowed and few exceptions in commerce and business, but the career on the dance, music and other arts stuff is still out of question for many students in this country.
Most parents whom talked has said that these are all for your own good, getting good marks gets you a seat in reputed college and that degree in that particular college will get you a job with higher salary that way you'll lead a successful life. Here once again the term "success" is redefined that if you have a job with high salary, a car, a house and a family of your own you are considered to be successful. It's not that the term success is different for each and every individual, some its career, some its money, some its happiness, there is no particular definition for being successful. Society measures the success by the amount of money we have, there is be stress free individuals only if the we start measuring our success with the amount of happy and peaceful life we have.
Forcing your children into something they doesn't like also makes them unemployable in future. Studies show that the rate of engineers in our country are increasing in tremendous amount but the rate of engineers that have the basic skill set to make them employable in the companies is very few. Why does this happen? Students study in elite institutions also face similar kind of problems. It's not the lack of proper education its the lack of interest in the subject, most students here in the engineering degree are not by the interest but on the pressure put on them by their parents and the society, so they study for the sake of their parents not understanding the core concepts and finish the degree with the decent percentage and get a job at IT companies or most not even get placed because of the lack of basic skill set.
They best way to prevent all this is to understand your children, become their friend, make them trust you that way if they like something or have any problem the first person they turn to is must be you. Don't be harsh on them even if they do something make them understand by talking to them. My advice is every parent must visit a child specialist in psychiatry to ask for their advice in parenting in best possible way, another thing in our country is even visiting psychologist is a taboo. Don't consider it that way, seeking the help of a professional is very important for both the parents and the children.
Thank you for your time reading this, comments are welcome, i have addend some of the articles please go through that also. Lets start this initiative and does not make our children to the mental pressure and help them grow in their own way.
Thank you.
[1]http://www.studyin-uk.in/study-guide/why-indian-students-are-more-stressed-ever
[2]https://economictimes.indiatimes.com/magazines/panache/between-the-lines/a-student-commits-suicide-in-india-every-hour-how-can-our-educational-system-prevent-this/articleshow/63411123.cms [3]https://thecsrjournal.in/reading-the-mental-stress-of-indian-children
[4]https://www.mapsofindia.com/my-india/education/parental-pressure-and-stress-on-children
[5]https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/city/kolkata/parental-pressure-fear-turning-kids-suicidal/articleshow/63755851.cms
When i ask them this question the obvious answer is then how would make them learn. I said by forcing them you people are not making them learning anything they just mug it up for your sake its not at all useful for them in anyways. They lose their interest in the studies when you force them to study and score more marks.
The main concern of the parents in our Country is their children wants to score more marks.!! Everything is about marks, even from kinder garden to the Engineering or medicine everything for them is about their children is to score higher marks. When you ask a kid of 1st standard what's your ambition in your life, he/she excitedly says Engineer, Doctor, Astronaut, Scientist..etc but when you ask the same kid at high school it just goes down to either an Engineer or Doctor or may be any Government jobs. Why does that same kind of excitement which the kid had at the beginning of the school does not have it at the end of school education. The obvious answer to this question is the mental pressure that the parents, teachers and the society puts on them about scoring marks and make them study something which literally they don't even like to learn. The parents and the education system does not create an interest in learning they just make them to hate the school and learning. Learning is something beautiful, the whole point of education is not to score marks or get admission in an IIT, IIM or any elite institution and get a job offer worth a lakh salary per month. Its making the mind to think, that's what education is all about, homosapiens are called as the intelligent species, how are we intelligent if we do not learn to think of our own? In our country parents and the society decides what their kid has to do in his/her life from education to marriage, this literally the worst thing.
The mental pressure on the kids put by their parents and the society makes them vulnerable many bad decisions, a study shows india is one among the top countries where the suicide rate of people between the age 15 to 29 are high. This a shocking news and something to remembered because the death of these kids are all of because of the pressure given to them by the society. Not alone that as many as suicide rate is high, the number of students who suffer from severe trauma and anxiety is increasing day by day. As i mentioned earlier parents use to cut the cable tv connection. internet connection, forbidden from playing with friends and many other things are forbidden if their kid doesn't score marks in the exam. They're isolated from everything this leads to lot of pressure especially 10th and 12th students, not they have to attend school, they also have to attend tuition for three different kind of subjects[1].
Every one hour a student commits suicide says an article in the economic times, our kids these days has lot of problems like bully in school, sexual abuse is another important and sensitive topic which is going on these days, competition in almost everything like having same toys, pens and like problems with other kids and so on. Most parents does not know these problems that their kids have and even if they did they just don't take it serious because its lot common they say, but according psychologist these are also causes for the mental problems[2].
Not everyone needs to know everything, creating interest in the process of learning and allowing the kids to pursue their dream in anything not only in academics, but also in sports, arts, history, culture..etc. Everyone has their own interest the work of the parents and the teachers is to provide the platform for them to go in their interested way. But that's not happening here a child can't even decide what's he like that is how education system is and even worse the support from parents is also not there so how could they pursue what they love. Career in the Engineering and medicine is only allowed and few exceptions in commerce and business, but the career on the dance, music and other arts stuff is still out of question for many students in this country.
Most parents whom talked has said that these are all for your own good, getting good marks gets you a seat in reputed college and that degree in that particular college will get you a job with higher salary that way you'll lead a successful life. Here once again the term "success" is redefined that if you have a job with high salary, a car, a house and a family of your own you are considered to be successful. It's not that the term success is different for each and every individual, some its career, some its money, some its happiness, there is no particular definition for being successful. Society measures the success by the amount of money we have, there is be stress free individuals only if the we start measuring our success with the amount of happy and peaceful life we have.
Forcing your children into something they doesn't like also makes them unemployable in future. Studies show that the rate of engineers in our country are increasing in tremendous amount but the rate of engineers that have the basic skill set to make them employable in the companies is very few. Why does this happen? Students study in elite institutions also face similar kind of problems. It's not the lack of proper education its the lack of interest in the subject, most students here in the engineering degree are not by the interest but on the pressure put on them by their parents and the society, so they study for the sake of their parents not understanding the core concepts and finish the degree with the decent percentage and get a job at IT companies or most not even get placed because of the lack of basic skill set.
They best way to prevent all this is to understand your children, become their friend, make them trust you that way if they like something or have any problem the first person they turn to is must be you. Don't be harsh on them even if they do something make them understand by talking to them. My advice is every parent must visit a child specialist in psychiatry to ask for their advice in parenting in best possible way, another thing in our country is even visiting psychologist is a taboo. Don't consider it that way, seeking the help of a professional is very important for both the parents and the children.
Thank you for your time reading this, comments are welcome, i have addend some of the articles please go through that also. Lets start this initiative and does not make our children to the mental pressure and help them grow in their own way.
Thank you.
[1]http://www.studyin-uk.in/study-guide/why-indian-students-are-more-stressed-ever
[2]https://economictimes.indiatimes.com/magazines/panache/between-the-lines/a-student-commits-suicide-in-india-every-hour-how-can-our-educational-system-prevent-this/articleshow/63411123.cms [3]https://thecsrjournal.in/reading-the-mental-stress-of-indian-children
[4]https://www.mapsofindia.com/my-india/education/parental-pressure-and-stress-on-children
[5]https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/city/kolkata/parental-pressure-fear-turning-kids-suicidal/articleshow/63755851.cms
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